So, if you have read my past blogs and by past I mean years ago, then you would know that single was not a concept I was quite familiar with. Neither was I familiar with a committed relationship. Yeah, it does seem I was quite effed up. Right? So, to correct this I decided to get serious with one. (Yaaaaay, good for me!!!!!!). But that is when karma decides to screw me over.
Having broken so many hearts, time and again, not that I am bragging (maybe only a little bit), it was time for me to reap the seeds. So, let’s get back to the story. I had recently shifted my career, moved to a new place, and everything was tough. I broke up with my ex girl friend because we did not have the spark anymore (I thought so, she wanted to try). That story is for another time (maybe it was a mistake to break up with her). I came back to the new place.
Every thing was cherry awesome, good performance, getting fame and I was popular. But then one evening, when the power shut down, total darkness, held my hands, fingers interlocked ( you know it, goosebumps moment). She was my colleague, she had spoken with me the time I was at home (breaking up with my girl), but I did not think she had a thing for me (Though I hoped she had). I know it’s all messed up, bear with me please, thanks. The lights then came on and she left it.
It was awkward silence for 2 days, and then she passed me a note, “what’s happening?” Me being the flirty flirterson, replied “you are happening to me”. (Oops, that was the big mistake, I should have said, wtf, how dare you, you b%@#ch). Our affair started within the next 1 week. Sneaking around and doing stuff. I thought of getting serious with her and I did.
4 months had gone by and I had to move. I told her we would be in touch and I would meet her soon and we will be great. Miss you much muah muah and bla bla bla. I was busy with my work and so was she, every time I called she would be on her heels busy. (Yes, some of you guessed it right, and I am laughing with you).
So, soon Fast forward things and it turns out she was not busy with work (if you know what I mean). And not put it decently, she was “casually seeing” someone else. So, I ended it with her. Well, I have spent these last 180 odd days with self respect and off any social media. I feel mature and evolved now. The dilemma here is that she wants me to take her back and she is asking for another chance.
The thing is, I am not sure if I really need her back in my life, but I also feel lonely that I do not have anyone to share anything personal about my life anymore. Is this a right reason to let someone back in my life?
I am vulnerable and I have not dated anyone since last 180 days and I have not met anyone new either. I am confused and in a pickle. What would you do? If you have read till here, please write a comment too. I would appreciate your support. After all, you did take time to read this much of my lamenting. Thanks.