So, here I am. So many hearts broken. So many tears shed for me. So many people let down. So many calls left unanswered, so many messages ignored, so many promises broken. And now, i remember the words, “we get what we deserve”. If so many sins I committed decided to come back and haunt me, it would not be possible, but life has a crazy way of teaching you a lesson. It makes you go to the past. That one past, that one heart that matters, the one drop of tear that could soak you completely, that one person you never wanted to let down, that one call you wished you had answered, that one message you needed to read, that one promise, you did not mean to break, that one mind that you wish believed you now.
It is basically not the past, it is the future I wish I have now. That past, I fell for it. Life says, “Gotcha!!”. Now that life has me by the neck, it can teach me a lesson and so it chooses to, it’s payback time. And that one past, which I willfully treaded back to, decided to break my heart , in so many pieces, that I have broken now, in my lifetime, a piece for each piece of each heart broken by me. I shed One tear for each tear shed for me till now, and same worth of messages I ignored, be ignored by that past in the present.
I had lost my muse to the cruelties of an egoistic and narsistic life. The ego consumed my muse but now, to get that past back in my future and present, I had to kill my ego. My past was my muse. The one which I obliterated without even noticing.
Now, I only wish, I get that muse back, because she was my past, she is my present and she will be my future. For, that muse inspires me. For that muse drives me, and for that muse, fuels me. Once a muse, always a muse, you will be. My dear past, please become my present and future.