I cannot say that i know how everybody else feel about people around them. But 21 years of, “this is wrong”, “do not do it”, “listen to me and do what i say”, “perhaps you need a beating?”, “You should not have done that”, “i knew it was going to end that way, with you down the gutter”, “shut up and listen to me”, from people we meet, is bound to make you feel secluded and judgemental about everyone. And i dare challenge that i have the right to do so. Not just me but anyone and everyone who has been through this, deserves the right to be judgy and precautious to others.
I do not need to be judged, i do not care about being judged, and if i say i do not judge, i am lying. i cannot help it but judge and let go of it, cause i am with you all for who you are. Because i do not care about your faults, i care what is going on with me. To save myself from the hurt and pain, i will judge you. To save myself from being shatteted to pieces, i will judge you. And if you are going to say that they are wrong. I would not care, i would not bother. But, rather, i would just know that, the fault i made was, lettinf you close, the fault in my is you, the fault in me is mine and i would rather be with it, than with you if you want to change me.
If life is always about knowing the faults in us and changing it, what is living? Is there no other aspect of living a life? If my life, yours to inspect and manipulate? Why is it that everything i do is wrong? Why is it that i am not allowed to make mistakes? Why is it that you have to have your experience and wisdon shared with me? Am i not allowed to gain an experience of my own? Am i not allowed to build a life of my own? Am i not allowed to grow to the top on my own? If these questions are what you say is my fault, then i know that, my fault was to know people like you.
Be however pushy or stubborn you could be, this is my life and i will live it as i wish.